“Sarah Parish’s Surreal Encounter with Kevin Costner: Balancing Two Major Roles”

Sarah Parish: From Tragedy to Triumph—How Acting and Charity Shape Her Life

At 57, Somerset-born Sarah Parish has navigated both heartbreak and a flourishing acting career with grace. Following a recent three-day break in Cornwall with her husband, actor James Murray, and a few close friends, Sarah is back on the move, balancing a demanding career in entertainment and the deeply personal work of running a children’s charity born out of profound loss.

In 2009, Sarah and James experienced the unimaginable: the death of their eight-month-old daughter, Ella-Jayne, from congenital heart failure, following her birth with Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome. Five years later, they established The Murray Parish Trust, which has since raised over £5 million for Southampton Children’s Hospital, where Ella-Jayne spent most of her short life. Recently rebranded as Inspire This, the charity now focuses on addressing the gap in mental health support for seriously ill children and their families. In recognition of their tireless efforts, Sarah and James were awarded MBEs this year.

“Children in hospitals often have little to do beyond watching TV or scrolling on their phones,” Sarah explains. “That’s where we stepped in. We want to create spaces for healing through drama, music, and yoga—anything that offers comfort.”

The charity’s mission also includes creating calming environments in hospitals where parents can spend precious time with their children before saying goodbye. “The room where I said goodbye to Ella-Jayne was cold and bare. It didn’t help; it just made an already tragic situation worse,” she recalls. “We aim to make those final moments a little less unbearable.”

Despite the emotional weight of the charity work, Sarah finds purpose in it, saying, “The charity kept us going, kept us together. It gives us something of our own to focus on.”

As for her acting career, Sarah’s early roles included a breakthrough part in Peak Practice (1997), followed by notable turns in BBC’s Cutting It, Mistresses, and Sky One’s Trollied. But it was her portrayal of a ruthless murderer in Bancroft and her appearance in the third season of Broadchurch that showcased her range. Balancing TV commitments with the charity’s needs can be overwhelming. Just last summer, Sarah was filming the second season of ITV’s Piglets, Netflix’s Geek Girl, and overseeing the charity’s rebranding—while coordinating its major Christmas fundraising event.

When asked whether she’s ever considered stepping away from acting to focus entirely on the charity, Sarah emphatically answers, “No! Jim and I live for acting. The charity is more demanding, but the two complement each other—one is the fun part, the other is real, and they balance out perfectly. The charity wouldn’t exist without acting.”

As for her professional high points, Sarah reflects on her time in Bancroft as a career milestone. “It was my own show,” she says. “But I also loved working on W1A. It was so much fun to poke fun at the BBC without getting into trouble!”

Her role as Kevin Costner’s wife in the 2012 drama Hatfields & McCoys also stands out. “I remember thinking, ‘This is ridiculous. I’m from Yeovil, and here I am with Kevin Costner!’ He was so nice, but I was too intimidated to think we’d be friends.”

Sarah, who identifies as “a proper jobbing actor,” has recently shifted gears by developing her own projects—TV adaptations of two books she’s passionate about. “I wish I’d started sooner, but one day I thought, ‘Why wait? Make it happen,'” she admits. More and more actors, especially older women, are taking control of their careers in this way, refusing to be sidelined by the industry’s tendency to overlook women over 40.

While Sarah acknowledges the challenges of her acting career, especially the instability that comes with it, she’s found confidence in her fifties. “My fifties have been my best decade,” she shares. “You reach an age where you stop caring about other people’s opinions. You just embrace who you are.”

Though she’s largely unaffected by online criticism, Sarah is deeply concerned about the impact of social media on young people, particularly her 15-year-old daughter, Nell. Nell, conceived shortly after Ella-Jayne’s passing, has brought Sarah much joy, despite the disappointment of never being able to have another child naturally.

Once known for her party-loving lifestyle, Sarah now finds peace in the quietude of weekends spent at their Hampshire home. Her close-knit circle of friends, many of whom she met while filming Cutting It, keeps her grounded. “Our WhatsApp group is hilarious. There are 75 messages sometimes—just nonsense, but it’s always fun.”

Despite the challenges and the unpredictability of both acting and charity work, Sarah’s journey remains one of resilience and joy. The combination of passion for her craft and her charity work proves that even in the face of personal tragedy, it’s possible to turn sorrow into something powerful and positive.